Fast Food Menu's Are Getting Ridiculous - Road Trippin' Issue 3

Fast food establishments are trying so hard to be all things to all people. When you walk into one of these chains, the first thing you notice is the wall-to-wall menu. For Chrissakes, there are four hundred choices. Don’t they know the reason why we are here? It’s to get a damn meal and get the heck out of there, and hopefully, nobody sees us. When you tell somebody you ate there, look how they judge you. So what, I like Big Macs… shoot me.

      Why do they serve all the different kinds of salads? This is just a waste of time and money.  Give the people what they want, a dollop of grease and fat with a healthy dose of salt. I don't go to Jack in the Box for a limp-looking salad containing a mealy orange tomato served in a plastic container. If I do order a salad at a burger joint, I must be trying to ward off a guilt complex about my decision to order an extra-large offering of French fries. The secret phrase at Mcdonald's is, "Go Big." This command allows you to get a bucket of soda and a large shipment of fries for a fraction of the cost.

      Please, fast food management people, condense the menu. I don’t know why there needs to be fifteen different versions of an egg sandwich and twenty different hamburgers. Decide on the weight; a quarter-pound, a third-pound, or two ounces. Make fast food easy, no math. And lastly, the menu at the drive-through is also too long. You don't want to be sitting in your car waiting behind the mini-van with screaming kids who only want the toy. Then you see the parent trying to reason with them about their choices. “But honey, you should have a juice box instead of a chocolate shake.”  Hey, van mom! They get a dam chicken nugget meal and let’s get movin’.  I’m done with your exhaust fumes.”  Let’s make fast food fast again.