Coffee Madness

I was at Starbucks the other day, standing in line ready to order my usual Vente (which means large in Starbuck code) and room for Half n Half. I noticed they raised the price to two dollars and seventy-five cents. As a society, we accept that a simple cup of java has reached extortion level pricing. What should only cost twenty-five cents is now jacked up in price by adding presentation and performance, which increases our beverage price ten-fold. The proof of this presents itself when you buy their coffee at the grocery store and brew at home. It turns out the cost of two large cups of coffee purchased at a Starbucks shop is equal to about fifty cups brewed at home.

My point here is that when you go into a Starbucks or some other chain, it's not about coffee. You are paying for the surroundings, the sights, the smells, and the sounds of patrons reeling off silly concoctions to a Barista. Barista is a term that never existed before all of this nonsense began with modern coffee establishments. You are stuck watching the all-mighty barista conjure up everybody's beverage while you stand waiting and asking yourself, "why do I always end up here?" I'd rather be served by a lady named Betsy wearing her waitress uniform pouring me unlimited dollar coffee. Call me cheap or old-fashioned, but deep down, you agree with me, but a mass of the population can't help ordering a "Grande soy latte with a pump of caramel. That will be five-fifty, please!"

Yes, a latte or a cappuccino costs you more than a gallon of gas and won't get you as far. You see folks fueling up with enormous amounts of caffeine before they dive into the morning traffic. This mix of frustration and a stimulating liquid results in bad decisions made behind the wheel. Have you looked at the drivers in the diamond lane during commute time? A lot of them are giving the big middle finger to the requirements of the commuter lane. There is the usual offering of electric and hybrid cars, but when you notice a truck with a camper shell come barreling down the road with one lone driver, you figure either the guy is late for work, or he has to pee.

We love our coffee and along with all our prescription drugs, diet aids, sleeping tablets, boner pills, and a vast array of mind-altering substances. Where is all this leading us? Starbucks figured out the marketing a long time ago. Give the public a place to meet with soft lighting, swanky music, and have youngsters with nose rings serve you. It all seems so harmless while you are hooked on the whole show. That will be two bucks for your tall coffee, which is their smallest cup. This is how it happens. Reality is distorted, but you accept it.