Fashion Crisis

       A friend sent me an email that read, “More Walmartians.” I could only imagine what was about to appear before my eyes. I do shop at Walmart now and then and find the prices to my liking. Who doesn’t want to buy a ten foot inflatable Santa Claus for twenty nine ninety nine? I am familiar with the unflattering pictures of people that shop there, clearly not what the folks who run Walmart want to be known for. I personally haven’t seen any silver spandex hot pants and purple mow hawks when I have been there but I guess I’ve not looked hard enough. Over the years,seeing the way people dress in public is not as shocking as it once was. I am no longer disturbed by seeing men wear black socks and sandals with high-waisted Bermuda shorts.

            I’ve been to sporting events where the only dress requirement is underwear.  When grown men paint their bare chested bodies then get staggering drunk while thinking they have an effect on the game, we as a society are descending. Have you ever gone to a gambling casino then found yourself in the nickel slot area and wonder why people are wearing their pajamas with cowboy boots?  Have you ever been in any coffee shop at 2am?  How about a fast food joint on a Sunday night? These folks just throw on whatever clothes are lying about, no matter how uncolor coordinated and wrinkled they are. Who cares anymore? The fashion police have lost this battle and now the inmates are running the joint.   Wear your muumuu with a down jacket to the grocery store. Put on your rain boots when you go out for dinner. Baseball hats are now required for everybody who hasn’t washed their hair in two days. Most men over seventy should wear one piece jumpsuits just because it makes sense.

            I have my own battles with my wife about style and fashion sense. I see nothing wrong with wearing green pants with a green shirt. The one combination that sends her over the edge is beige on beige.  I find beige the most politically correct color and can be worn for any occasion. In addition, sweatpants should be considered everyday clothes no different than women who wear nothing but black stretch pants. In addition, tee shirts should never be retired until large holes distract from the important messages they are displaying. I’m trying to meet her half way about my wardrobe choices. I even agreed not to wear the clothes that been lying on the floor for a few days. These are small steps for me and someday I might even tuck in my shirt.