Leonard Nimoy, Walmart and Alien Abduction

           I recently went to a UFO convention out of curiosity and with the hope of learning something profound. I attended with the preconceived notion that a legion of Star Trek fanatics, new age pontificators, alien abductees, and people who swear spaceships are part of an ongoing conspiracy would be in attendance. When I saw all of the above and more, I was not let down. I left with the impression that a UFO convention is a gathering I would categorize as fringe entertainment in line with professional wrestling, Civil War reenactments, and lingerie football.

The convention is like a smorgasbord of twisted brains, certifiable kooks, UFO junkies, and gawkers like me. I thought Halloween brought out the ET outfits, but this gathering had folks who felt inclined to don the big head and bug eyes. In addition, I don't know why Spock impersonators were present, but I am sure Leonard Nimoy somewhere wishes he received a dollar every time someone flashed the "go in peace and prosper" hand gesture.

Let's review three of the scenarios presented at the convention. Premise one: aliens are abducting people for interrogation. This has been going on for many years, with a growing population making a claim. Premise 2: Aliens have infiltrated themselves into everyday society to report on us. Premise 3: There is a massive government cover-up of a lot of unidentified aircraft.

To further breakdown here they are, Premise 1: Aliens are abducting us. This usually happens in our sleep and then sent to an unknown location to be interrogated, tortured, and probed. It seems to be a common theme to be explored, but I can't imagine why. So, the aliens want to inspect our orifices to find out what's going on inside. This doesn't add up to me because you think once you probed one, you probed them all. Maybe they want to gather some cells to do some cloning. The reason is that they want a variety of slaves to wait on them. Logically, this makes a little sense, but the question looms: If these guys traveled all this way to poke, prod, and clone us, you would think they invented a robot instead? If I own a robot slave, put an order in for me.

Premise 2: Aliens are infiltrated into our society. I can accept that aliens are being implanted into society because this would explain a lot of unsettling behavior. I am not talking about the folks leading their marching band down the road or the shoppers in Walmart with capes, spandex jumpsuits, or silver hot pants, not even the people who go on the Bachelor television program and start fistfights. As weird as this behavior may appear, it cannot explain heinous crimes and mayhem. It must be the alien brain misfiring and going bonkers. Maybe they are the quiet and inconspicuous types taking copious notes sitting in coffee shops all day long on their laptop.

Premise 3: A massive cover-up exists about alien spaceships, and the government has some of these aircraft. Granted, there are plenty of visuals of unexplained things in the sky, but why the cover-up? To this day, I have not seen one clear, high-resolution, slam dunk proof of these flying ships. Does every picture look like your drunken uncle shot it at a picnic? Does every video clip look shaky or so far away that it could be a paper plate from the same picnic drifting through the sky? If the government is covering up something, why doesn't this get eventually revealed? This kind of cover-up would be a rare feat. Aside from who shot JFK what else hasn't been disclosed? The government is too big, and too many whistleblowers want to cash in on their secrets to the National Inquirer.

As you can see, I am a skeptic and will need a lot more proof to buy-in. The alien abduction stories are pretty entertaining, but I will never believe that an alien-being needs to capture us in our pajamas. Nor do I think the government is hiding alien craft to keep us from freaking out or conducting secret missions to Planet Nimrod. But I believe aliens may be the ones who run social network sites because they own all of your personal data to brainwash us as slaves.